My journey to myself

Here is a little context to why this post: When I sat back to write about how was "the journey to ISB and what it means to me", I found myself overwhelmed with what ISB means, and how I perceive this move. I swiftly missed how I reached there. I realized this all along the way but this thought did not become prominent enough to make me write something before fellows at ISB_group made me think so. So here is more about who I am.

The story, as usual, dates back to when I was a child. During my schooling days when I was told how important X-board exams were - I immediately made it my goal to get at least a distinction. And that is how probably I set off on the path of studies. The goals I set for myself at different points of time though, were:
1) Distinction in X (I believed no one could make it to heaven when the day comes without achieving this feat, seriously!).
2) Graduate in electricals engineering from IIT-Bombay (this was when I did not even know full form of IIT, and what electricals or engineering meant). Bombay was the location to be, as my grand dad used to work there.
3) Do an MBA from IIM-Ahd. After all always heard about the institute which sat at the top of the list of the premier institutes. (I must have first thought about this during my last days at school, when I did not understand what MBA was!)
4) Never work out of India, actually I never wanted to step outside India. (This was during early college days.)
5) Get married early to a girl who suits me (did not consider suiting family as a preliminary criterion because was confident that one who suits me would suit the family as well). (Must have been a thought built starting school days.)
6) Earn respect from friends and love from family. (This started showing up only recently - may be during my college days where I really got to understand the meaning of friends and family. Though it took me much longer to understand what love and respect were.)

My friends would know how I did against this dream list. But for the un-informed here is how I did:
1) Done, 2) Done, 3) Nopes, 4) Nopes, 5) Done :P, 6) Getting there :D

Note about 3) & 4): These two are directly correlated. I don't say that I am an IIM-A material, but I would never be able to disprove that either. Simply because my job out of India directly out of college did not allow me to join the band wagon to give CAT. Not that I am/was not scared of CAT (yes I am!) but taking the plunge just never happened.

So where does ISB feature among my dream life. Nowhere. Not until recently, not until when my not being able to achieve 3 & 4, yet making steady gains on 5) & 6) :D, made me think about my options of how I wanted to lead my life. Thus a short term plan was drafted to achieve:
1) An MBA from a premier institute,
2) Take only one shot at MBA, apply only for MBA starting 2009. (Usually one would sacrifice either of 1) or 2) while applying for MBA. I decided to sacrifice the MBA itself if I do not make it with both 1) and 2).)
3) Return to India before 2013-14.

And thus the journey started, with me taking my GMAT in mid-2007. Having a blast of life for an year before starting to apply mid-2008. After grave discussions (big thanks to seniors from college/work here!) I came up with my list of schools.
R1 - Columbia, Chicago GSB, Wharton, ISB (back-up)
R2 - LBS, Kellogg

After a grueling 4.5 months (June to mid-Oct) I applied to all 4 R1 schools and decided to wait for what would happen before moving any further on R2 apps. I got the US B-school rejects one by one (without ivs) with the last ones flowing in by Nov 12th. The sole light of hope though kept alive through ISB, and probably hearing of an admit (Nov 20) from them and dings from US was a blessing in disguise for me. This stalled my further quest for b-school admission.

I am looking forward to ISB because of its world class curriculum matched by the faculty, gateway to India and Indian placements, one year and money saved - along with fultoo masti and naach gaana once again with bhai-behens in India (yes, I miss India)! Though ISB has still to measure up to the scale on soft skill development and extra curricular involvement targeted towards skills development. But I am ready to trade these, as ISB easily puts me in the safety zone which other b-schools might not have been able to. Plus, its one himself who owns his development - there is a level to how much any foreign aid can contribute to it.

So that means I would be able to make up on dream 4) above and I am glad - for the experience I have gained in the last three years outside India is incredible. But what about dream 3)? At this point I am sort of glad that I am not going to IIM-A, 1) because I don't want to study with a bunch of fresh graduates, 2) It is a two year program - that is +1 year compared to ISB, 3) ISB is fast building up a great name (no I am not obsessed with accumulating brand names on my resume - but don't want to dilute the resume value as well, seriously).

I know I missed out big time on US B-schools, but nevertheless this has helped me to stream line all other goals of my life so well. And IIM-A, salute you! May be some day I would be able to visit their campus just to feel how the air breathes there :D. But for now hasta la vista!

I am looking forward to the great year ahead at ISB-Hyd and life ahead. At this point I must thank my family and friends for believing in me. Its because of them that I am here today. A big thanks and nat-mastak to the almighty for looking after me, and last but not the least my wife, the background painter - my friend, at time mentor, and the fuel in my life.

My Journey to ISB and what it means to me

Disclaimer: This blog is not complete.

Even as I start to think about what my journey to ISB means to me, I have come to realize that my thoughts are not complete and its only time that would tell what it means to me, thus the disclaimer.

I would like to think of my journey in two ways, 1) As a matter of fact what set me up to get an admission at ISB, and 2) At a thought process level what it means to me. While the first wing is very factual and probably a re-iteration of my professional resume, it is nevertheless important. It is important because it has contributed to my thought process as to where my professional trajectory is headed, and it has also bought in the confidence of ISB admissions team and they are ready to bet on it.

The question of what ISB admission means to me is much deeper and requires me to resort to more complicated thinking, only which could then simplify the thought outcome. When I try to think retrospectively about other successes/achievements in my life, I instantly realize that I can put them in two buckets. The first being of those achievements which I worked hard for without quantifying the returns they would bring to me. Where the action itself brought satisfaction to my inner self. On the contrary the second bucket of things invoked actions from me for the want of achieving some thing more superior in times ahead. These successes/achievements were meant to build a platform for more successes/achievements. And ISB sweetly lies into the second category.

Thus it becomes extremely difficult to think what ISB means to me. Because in essence - getting into ISB means nothing by itself. What would follow as a result of this first step is what I am looking forward to. The initial jubiliations that followed the Nov-20 ISB results have given way to fear and anxiety in what lies ahead. I have bet a cool job and steady career in expectations of multi-fold returns when I graduate from ISB, in terms of launching a successful career and settling down in a place of my choice. But it would be extremely hard to value what ISB means to me and my career unless the actual results are in front of me.

The silver lining to the cloud is that these thoughts are going to take a back seat as I move to control my life again on-campus. Where my actions would have the onus of defining the outcome of this one golden year of my life and would provide me the answer of what it means to me roughly 15 months from now. Though I must clarify at this point that from a personal point of view getting into ISB was a clear victory - getting back to India, getting an MBA, spending an year full of fun and much more. But the professional me still keeps the outcome questions live and would continue to do so over the next year.